Strange occurances

I'm just going to log when these things happen, because it's weird

Or not

For two weeks now, I've been thinking about this guy I used to work with at Starbucks in downtown Wheaton Not like romantically thinking about him, just randomly remembered him and wondered where he was in his life His face would pop into my head now and again I haven't seen him in 9, maybe 10 years Strange, but whatever

Then this morning at church, I'm walking up the stairs after dropping off the kids at Sunday school, and I see the back of this guy in line for coffee Short hair, thinning spot in the back, slight build, hoodie, and I knew *I KNEW* that it was him Walked past him in line, glanced over my shoulder and, sure as shit, it was

Crazy

After the service, I went down to pick up the kids and he was waiting outside the same room I was heading for Of course, I recognized him, but he saw me and said, "Kate?" and I never get recognized, not ever We chatted a bit about church, about where we were at in our lives, then went on our separate ways

I wonder what that was all about

The other thing: My best friend forgot my birthday I just knew she would text me about it today, and sure enough had a text from her while I was at work tonight, "Happy Belated Birthday"

Fact.

I knew I would have a little red-haired girl, and her name would be Alison.

Things I don't know.

I've had a lot of weird experiences of knowing things before/as they happen. I've written about this before. I dreamed of my mom dying the minute she died, knew it would happen my entire childhood, which btw is a creepy thing to grow up with, okay? Anyhoo. I know who's calling when the phone rings. Can think of a person and they'll text or call. I know which couples will last and which will fail, know who's dating but keeping it a secret, and can match-make like you wouldn't believe.

Most of these things I keep to myself. Not going to lie, because I'd hate to be wrong in front of someone. But usually I'm not. And there are some things I know and don't share because I only have a vague idea of its importance, or I have a hunch and just don't want to jinx it. Yeah, I'm superstitious like that.

But there are some things I just don't know.

Like lottery numbers. And even if I did, I wouldn't share that because I believe in fair. Also money makes you crazy.
Like if The Jealous Sound will actually ever finish that album that we've been waiting for since the Got Friends EP came out, which they said would be done in March. It's freaking May, fellows. Just in case you weren't aware.
Like which book of mine is going to be the one that freaks out and becomes important. (Although I have a strong suspicion it will be WCP. But then again JALR is so dear to me, and ATW is so sad, yet inspirational, and LIP, not lip, is so gray and wonderful...)
Like how is this going divorce shit going to work out? Will we hate each other forever? Can we co-parent successfully? Will we always embody this bitterness and will it spill all over everything else? Can you move on? Will you let me?

I wish I knew it all. I wish I could say that that album comes out in June and everyone loves Natalie and S and I stop fighting tomorrow. But I don't know that. There's this beautiful line in an Indigo Girls song. "I said to you the one gift which I'd adore, the package of the next ten years all unfolding. But you told me if I had my way I'd be bored." So true. Part of the joy, the excitement, the nervous anticipation of life is that, hunches aside, there's no actual way of knowing what or how things will happen next. And maybe that's a good thing. Maybe knowing ahead of time takes away from the experience. Like mourning my mother my entire childhood, rather than just when I was eighteen and she got sick. I missed her before she was gone. And in missing her, I missed out on living with her. Maybe not knowing exactly the end result makes it this wonderful surprise. This beautiful unfolding I couldn't, in my wildest dreams, imagine.

Listening to: my Jeremy Enigk playlist.

xo. kb.