The job sitch continues to bomb. I think about this, and because I'm me, I wonder if this is a sign. (Everything is a sign. Also, I am nuts.) But for real, I'm wondering if maybe this is a message that I need to do something different. That my path forward isn't at a passionless job. Droning myself out for a paycheck. Because that's not what I want anyway, I've only been pursuing it because I thought that what I should be doing. What I thought I should be doing.
That's gotten me into worlds of trouble before.
I've had this idea for a cafe for years. Like since high school when I ran the "coffee bar" at the concerts in our church basement. It developed into a full-blown concept in the later years of my Starbucks tenure, while I watched the company devolve from a coffee house into a corporate outpost. It's an idea that won't leave me alone, just like that nagging feeling you should be exercising while you're vegging on the couch. You know it's right, but it's work and you don't know where to start.
I'll be super honest- I know how to run a business, but I have no idea how to start one. And I'm kinda hung up at that starting point. Well, that and my fear that I won't be able to raise the capital to begin. I have no doubt about being successful. I'm not being egotistical, I just believe in my concept.
Here's what I want to accomplish. I want to build a community meeting place. I want it to feel like a living room, where moms can bring their kids and not worry about them breaking things or being too loud, where writers can find a corner and sit all day without feeling pushed out after an hour. A place where teenagers can hang out without being discriminated against for acting like teens. I want live music on weekends, open mic nights, local bands. I want to sponsor volunteer activities, and hire stay-at-home moms to help with baking in the middle of the day while their kids are at school (because seriously, try to find a job that fits that need). I want good, locally roasted coffee, homemade food (bacon cupcakes), and discounts for "for here" cups. I don't want a drive-thru. I want to know my customers, and I want them to know each other as well.
I want to write, but I don't think that's why I'm here. The world may be smaller because of all our technology, but our level of personal interaction is so reduced. My greatest moments are when I get to connect with someone else. Working with a new mom to find a pair of jeans that make her feel good in her changed body, figuring out the perfect drink for someone who's never had anything but Folgers. Meeting a person you've only ever talked to online, and becoming real friends. Being at a concert and the entire crowd is singing along. It's community. And there's not enough of it. I want to make some more.
Listening to: Damien Jurado "Water Ave S."
xo. kb.
I'm a firm believer that we are here for a purpose. I'm also a firm believer that we should follow our dreams. I know this can be hard when have children and responsibilities, but our children are watching us. The see the choices we make.
ReplyDeleteWriting a novel was a dream of mine. It seemed far-fetched an unattainable. But after my husband died, I realized we only get one life (my own personal belief system anyway) and if I was going to live my life, it was time to do it. Once I finally completed my first novel, I knew I'd found my life's passion.
I threw all of my eggs in this basket, to use a cliche'. I have four more years until my daughter goes to college and I start losing social security. My original plan was to go back to college for a nursing degree, but leaving four kids at home alone while I worked nights, weekends and holidays was hard to stomach. So after I got positive feedback from several agents on my second novel, I decided to take the leap. I devoted my time to writing.
I work hard. My children see me work hard. Sometimes they complain. But when my older two held my first published book in their hands last month, their entire perspective changed. They saw that I wasn't just playing around. I published my book. I fulfilled my dream.
If you can figure out a way to make your dreams happen DO IT. There will probably be sacrifices. We have made sacrifices, but the result is worth it.
Denise, thank you. Your story is beautiful. I'm huge on the one-life lived to its fullest idea. My parents are both gone, and while I'm sad they're not here, I'm sadder they didn't get to do all the things they wanted to. I don't want to look back on my life and feel like I missed out on something. Even if that means failing. Which I'm bound to do sometimes.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm so proud of you and your accomplishment. You do work so hard. With writing, with your kids. It's tough and you're doing it. It's inspirational.
*I'm squealing inside!* The best possible outcome of a writing community is that well... we are a community and we help each other.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I've had many jobs. One of them, and my favorite, just happened to be working for the Department of Defense. I trained small businesses how to contract with the government and make more money. In that wonderful job, I also worked with the Small Business Association. Each state has their own branches throughout their state. Their sole purpose is to help people like you!
go to www.sba.gov and find your local office. They will have tons of info about starting businesses, finding funding, writing business plans etc.
And...you go girl!