I did not want to run this morning. I had a waffle for breakfast, the sun is really glaring, I was up freaking late last night, and, frankly, I'm a little hungover. But I took yesterday off to go crazy with the cleaning and cupcake and pizza making, so I knew I had to workout sometime today. This morning was ideal because I'm going two days without a hair wash, and it's business time. So I suited up in my cold weather gear, popped my headphones on, and busted a move outside.
I wish I could say it turned into a fantastic run. That I got out there and it was difficult at first, but I stuck with it, found my rhythm and had a blast. Yeah, not the case. I got out there, my legs felt heavy, my lungs burned, and my right knee turned into a little bitch. Even the music I chose was too slow. Boo and hiss. I didn't stop, though. I didn't quit my run or shorten it or even take a breather for half a block. I just ran. I was giving it the finger the whole time, but I kept with it.
And now? I should feel proud of myself for powering through, right? Well, mostly I feel like taking a shower and some ibuprofen. But I imagine I'll be grateful I didn't quit when summer rolls around and I'm not embarrassed to wear shorts in public.
Writing's a lot like this for me. Some days, I open my document and am overflowing with ideas. I can't wait to type, can't type fast enough. Writerly endorphins kick in and I feel so good. Then there are days, like the last few, when the idea of working on my novel makes me want to vomit. Some of that is a raging case of self-doubt (which seems to be viral this week), but most of it is pure laziness. I'm in a tough spot of editing, and I have several other projects that need real work. It's a lot, and I'd rather be reading, honestly. But I sit down and write. I curse and hate it, but I do it.
I call this "Eating Your Vegetables." You know you need to eat them, and they're not always asparagus with hollandaise. Sometimes they're just microwaved frozen peas that taste like crap, but will provide you with nutrients. And you need those nutrients to stay strong and healthy, so you suffer through. Because it's good for you.
Listening to: nothing. Isn't that strange?